Similar to the Roman civilization, the few hold power over the many by means of fear. Fathers (usually) remain stagnant because of depression and obsession over their own cases, and the fear of consequences from the family court systems. Even worse, our so called “leaders” and many organizations are failing to seize the perfect opportunity for change.
Upon analysis of family law reform groups in the United States we have see them come and go with minor steps towards progress. The Divorce Racket Busters, MEN International, Million Man March and the Promise Keepers have all tried different avenues towards change. Many remain to this day but are less prominent in scope than once before.
There are more prominent groups today that are failing to seize the perfect opportunity for change. Some are so caught up with their own self identity and their way of doing things that they refuse to openly support the August 18th 2007 Washington, D.C. Rally. The purpose of the Washington, D.C. Rally is to bring EVERYONE together both those who wear costumes and those who refuse to. Even those who want only to educate and refuse to hold a rally sign for fear of not being politically correct.
These groups fall under different chosen categories such as children’s rights, father’s rights, family law reform, non-custodial parent’s rights, non-custodial mother’s rights, men’s issues, etc. We are far too fragmented to ever be seriously effective. Many of these organizations, in which some of us pay membership fees, are failing us. They are either failing to support the Washington, D.C. rally or they are giving verbal lip service with no serious form of action beyond that. Should we continue supporting all of these numerous fragmented groups if they still do not know how to work with others for the sole purpose of change? Is my money better spent in donating to the Washington, D.C. Rally directly, as opposed to sending my money to various organizations to become a member?
If these organizations do not kick it into overdrive and start helping financially and with other forms of action, I say my money this year is best spent for an event of ACTION. August 18, 2007 Washington, D.C. Rally. If some of these organizations refuse to support this effort because not every one attending the Rally will be wearing a yellow hat, as an example, then it is up to us to recognize that they are too self absorbed in their groups identity and selfishly place their own organization above the perfect opportunity for change. There have been some organizations, such as LA Dads, that have stepped up in a serious way despite being so far away geographically from these events.
There are also naysayer organizations that wish for this Washington, D.C. Rally to fail. Their thought process is that since the rallies in the past have failed in D.C. then surely this one will also. If you seek failure, you most certainly will fail! If you seize this opportunity and seek success, this will most certainly be a self-fulfilling prophecy. We already know based on head count alone that more will be in attendance at the D.C. Rally then compared to the ones in the past which have failed.
My plea to all who read this! Refuse to listen to those who speak of failure! Refuse to listen to those who say since it failed in the past it most certainly will again! Do not support organizations that do not promote family law reform, but only negative energy coupled with a defeatist attitude.
There are also numerous family rights organizations and churches that refuse to support things such as EQUAL Parental Rights after a divorce. These family rights organizations, in Michigan and throughout the U.S., are failing all of us to an extent that people should be outraged. Phyllis Schlafly herself commented on this in her piece titled “Fathers Day Lament”. I have personally contacted several groups in Michigan and they refuse to support EQUAL Parental Rights, yet their donations keep rolling in.
Shame on all of us for supporting organizations that refuse to recognize that having EQUAL Parental Rights legislation has been shown to reduce crime, reduce divorce rates and helps children in the long run after a divorce. They advocate for family rights, but apparently this ends once a divorce occurs. With families dissolving at a rapid pace, it may be wise for them to look closer at EQUAL Parental Rights as part of their platform.
Another source of frustration among the “foot soldiers” who are fighting daily in the trenches for various family law reforms are with those single individuals who are considered experts or leaders within the areas of children’s rights, family rights, and fathers rights. You know who they are without a name being mentioned. You have long bought their books, DVDs, articles, advertising, their speeches and even their legal representation.
My second plea to all who should read this. STOP! STOP supporting their work, books, legal services and more. To profit from this industry, under the shield and protection of being titled an advocate for change, is immoral and wrong without actively seeking the end of the industry from which they profit. Now is the time for these “leaders” to step up and standout! How much have they donated to the Washington, D.C. Rally? How much have they donated to the EQUAL Parenting Bike Trek? Are they the ones pedaling over 600 miles for change? Over 9 hours a day in the saddle pedaling for 6 days? If they are too politically correct or fear credibility loss in the eyes of certain elitists, they can certainly make anonymous donations. They are smart people and I am sure they can figure it out.
Some of these “experts” or “leaders” even want to charge a speaking fee to show up for the August 18th Washington, D.C. Rally! All of us should be outraged over this! Immediately stop supporting these individuals! There are enough parasites attached to us now. All of us in the trenches look up and see the various vultures circling around us in the sky above. Stop buying their services, books, DVDs, etc and help in any way you can with the Washington, D.C. Rally. Is $5 too much when you spend $25 on their books? It is time for these leaders to put their money where there mouth is. Or better yet, it is time for them to exercise their writing skills by writing not yet another book, but a check as a donation for this rally.
My third and final plea to all. Stop complaining and start performing measurable forms of action. Complaining will get you and your case no where. I have been there and I know it is personally difficult to get over the depression and self obsession of your own case. Get out of the Yahoo groups and start actively helping with the overall movement of changing this current state of madness. Yahoo…hah! It is more like super glue or perhaps voodoo, it might make you a guru but in the end creates nothing more than the taste of stale tofu. The herd mentality, like a group of lemmings, we do nothing more than jump off the cliff together.
Our various organizations all suffer from those who want to benefit from the efforts of the groups; however they rarely dedicate their own time and energy towards changing the system. However, not everyone is like this and a few have really stood out. For example, there is Paul Burton who openly blogs to the fact that he does not have a penny to his name after buying a bulk order of advocacy bumper stickers. Despite his lack of financial fortune, he has committed to donating a portion of his profits to the EQUAL Parenting Bike Trek. Paul may not have financial wealth but he has a form of wealth that can never be taken away – passion and dedication towards change.
I am by no means the perfect advocate. I do dedicate a lot of time and energy which I really do not have towards the daily pursuit of change. I have never profited from advocacy and continuously I find myself dishing out more time and money than I had intended to. I do not regret any of this. I will, however, no longer support any group or individual “expert” unless if I see their immediate action in helping with the perfect opportunity of change. I am a member of various organizations which have failed me personally with their lack of support towards the D.C. Rally. They will not see a single dime from me ever, if they continue to ignore the perfect opportunity in bringing all of us together on August 18th, 2007. The same holds true of the individual “experts” in the areas of children rights, father’s rights, family law reform and family rights. This is the greatest opportunity for all to show whether they are actively apart of the solution.
Onward I charge (and pedal),
Robert Pedersen
Box 119
30 E Columbia Ave Ste F1
Battle Creek, MI 49015
[email protected]
Proud dad of two children deprived of their right to EQUAL time with their fit father.
EQUAL Parenting Bike Trek Updates Support HB 4564
This is an excellent piece. It hits home and is to the point. Mr. Pederson you continue your fight and continue to stand on what you believe. This is a breath of fresh air because most of us are hiding in closets thinking the things that you have the guts to say.
I am with you 100000%
Minister Ron Smith
Posted by: Minister Ronald Smith | May 21, 2007 at 12:02 AM
BRILLANT!!! Well written!
Posted by: Anegla Pedersen | May 21, 2007 at 01:02 AM